I have been gone for awhile (metaphorically) and now I’m back. Life sometimes hits us with a wave and while we are getting our footing we get bashed about by another. And, all the time this is happening, it is hard to remember that we are still carried, on the currents of a blessed life.
As for me, it has been hard to find my footing this latter half of 2009. I seem to go one step ahead and two steps back and even though it will never all come together by design, it does come together and then it falls apart and then it comes together again. Maybe that is the design. Maybe that is life. Not for all, but certainly for me.
And then there is Gottfried. Caregiver personified, who found himself in dire straits this summer and sought refuge in the mountains. Human suffering. Human fraility. Human resilience. Sometimes it seems like the world pretends none of this happens and yet it happens to most of us-all of us, sometime or other.
And here we are, still standing.
November 8th is the day for Gottfried-whose name means God’s peace. An old fashioned name and an old fashioned meaning. In Austria, “namenstag” used to be a bigger celebration than your Birthday although like many traditions it is slipping away, but not in our house.
This Sunday the sky was blue, the air was crisp, and the leaves were rustling. We got to spend three hours out doors walking along the river and maybe for the first time in awhile there was a gentle awakening of peace. Perhaps it was Gottfried’s saint putting in some extra effort on our behalf. Perhaps it was recognizing that even though the world is full of suffering and how can we possibly complain of anything-the truth is that we are warm, vulnerable humans and sometimes our hearts get broken and stoicism isn’t the only answer. Sometimes we need to grieve our losses before we can move on.
And so I will once again do some scribbling. What does that mean? Not sure. But my true, blue mantra from Pema - start where you are.
With appreciation for all that love and goodness that keeps us going.
And Gottfried, Happy Names Day. With love, Trudy