Joyful Wrecks: Reflections on living...

Who Are You?

 

Who Are You?

"In one his movies, the comedian W.C. Fields walks into a bank and up to the teller's window. The teller asks, "Can you identify yourself?" Fields says, "Of course. Do you have a mirror?" When presented with one, Fields immediately states, "Yup, that's me!"

It's meant as a joke, but it carries a ring of truth. Who among us can say they really know themselves, without illusions, beyond the face in the mirror, their name-rank-and-serial-number role in the world, their personas, defense mechanisms, and self-deceptions? Do we distinguish between when we are being authentic and inauthentic? Do we know what we really feel about things, what our true values and priorities are, what lies below the surface of consciousness, and what makes us tick?"
- Lama Surya Das, from The Big Questions  (thanks to Tricycle Magazine's word for the day.)

PS you can see that besides my interest in existential questions, I am also longing for warm weather.

Sophie and her Opa at Play

 

“The practice of gratitude requires that you slow down long enough to notice what is right in front of your nose. If you are speeding through the day, chances are you are overlooking the blessings that are all around you. No matter what our circumstances, we can slow down enough to notice and give thanks to our breath going in and out, the food we are about to eat, the book we are reading, the kindness of the stranger we bumped into. “ M. J. Ryan

JOY

So, this little person is the main reason you haven't heard from me of late. I have had such a joyful and full time with this precious three year old and her Mother and her Great Grandmother. Even though the snow is still on the ground Sophie brought a warming trend into our home and hearth.

I still don't have a way to consistently do the important things like my blog, keeping in touch with dear ones,swimming and ... plus work. I am very appreciative of the emails I have received inquiring about my well-being or letting me know that you miss my blog posts. I honestly can say that it crosses my mind that you may be growing tired of my little reflections on this and that even though I love doing it and I will continue. (so I am surprised when you write and say "I miss you.") I don't have a new rhythm yet and I am hoping to find that and to lessen the current sporadic nature of my scribblings.

I leave you with a new favourite quote that I received from Dr. Sherri Magee, author of Picking Up the Pieces. Sherri facilitated a meaningful and useful day long workshop at Wellspring last Sunday, for staff, volunteers and facilitators, which I personally found particularly helpful. One of her many delightful quotes was  an African proverb: "When the music changes, so must the dance." So it is a gentle reminder for us all to keep our ears tuned to the music, so we can continually adjust our footsteps.

Have a lovely week-end and you will hear from me more often for awhile. Warm fuzzy hugs to all, Trudy

"Creativity is a habit and the best creativity is the result of good work habits." — Twyla Tharp

As Twyla Tharp, one of America's greatest choreographers, puts it: "Being Creative is not a once-in-a-while sort of thing. Being creative is an everyday thing, a job with its own routines. That's why writers, for example, like to establish a routine for themselves. The most productive ones get started early in the morning when the phones aren't ringing and their minds are rested and not yet polluted by other people's words. They might set a goal--1,500 words or stay at their desk until noon--but the real secret is that they do it everyday. They do not waver. After a while it becomes a habit.

This is no different for any creative individual whether it's a painter finding his way to the easel or a medical researcher returning to the laboratory. The routine is as much a part of the creative process as the lightning bolt of inspiration (perhaps more). And it is available to everyone. If creativity is a habit, then the best creativity is a result of good work habits. They are the nuts and bolts of dreaming."

PS:  the heart is a design of Vancouver glass artist Robert Held. This was a gift from a summer guest, many years ago on Gabriola Island. We still treasure it.  As always, Trudy

We give thanks for our friends

We give thanks for our friends.

Our dear friends.

We anger each other.

We fail each other.

We share this sad earth, this tender life, this precious time.

Such richness. Such wildness.

Together we are blown about.

Together we are dragged along.

All this delight.

All this suffering.

All this forgiving life.

We hold it together.

Amen
From The Prayer Tree by Michael Leunig

I published this poem on my blog last year in May and the truth is I haven't seen a little prayer/poem capture a certain aspect of my own experience  better than this. I simply love the way he reveals the heart break and the heart mending of our many relationships. Thanks so much to Michael Leunig. His words remind me of the human condition and give me peace.

And always, with gratitude and love to my family and friends, Trudy

Everything is Waiting for You: by David Whyte

 

Everything is Waiting for You

   Your great mistake is to act the drama
   as if you were alone. As if life
   were a progressive and cunning crime
   with no witness to the tiny hidden
   transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny
   the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely,
   even you, at times, have felt the grand array;
   the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding
   out your solo voice. You must note
   the way the soap dish enables you,
   or the window latch grants you freedom.
   Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.
   The stairs are your mentor of things
   to come, the doors have always been there
   to frighten you and invite you,
   and the tiny speaker in the phone
   is your dream-ladder to divinity.

   Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into
   the conversation. The kettle is singing
   even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots
   have left their arrogant aloofness and
   seen the good in you at last. All the birds
   and creatures of the world are unutterably
   themselves. Everything is waiting for you.

   by  -- David Whyte

I woke up early thinking about spring and stumbled on this poem in my collection. I had forgotten about it. Now that I re-read it I remember why it is there. And "everything is waiting for us" even spring.

Enjoy this day. As always, Trudy

     

In Praise of the Alphabet: For Patti Digh and Frederick Buechner

I have always loved the alphabet as far back as I can remember. Twenty six letters that can create a world of difference. When I discovered this butterfly alphabet many years ago in National Geographic's children magazine I ordered copies for my children and extra copies to give away. I still have one hanging in my library and I marvel at nature's designs and the keen eye of Kjell Sandved and Barbara Bedette, who first spotted the F and went looking for the rest, on the wings of butterflies.

Two of my favourite writers also pay tribute to the alphabet, Patti Digh and Frederick Buechner who wrote: Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC. Besides making it clear that they love the alphabet they have a beautiful way of arranging and re-arranging the letters to help make the world a better place.Today Patti is running a little contest on her blog about the alphabet and it made me think of this poster. Hope you find it as wondrous as I do.

THE BUTTERFLY ALPHABET

"Packed away in a corner of the attic in the Smithsonian Institution National Museum of Natural History was an old Havana cigar box full of exotic butterflies and moths, one with a sparkling silvery letter “F” awaiting its future rendezvous with destiny.

That day came in the spring of 1960 when a young visitor Kjell (“shell”) Sandved, arrived at the Smithsonian to conduct research for an encyclopedia on animal behavior. The director of the museum provided Kjell with an office, and introduced him to his neighbor, Barbara Bedette, who became his collaborator, best friend, and finally the love of his life.

THE DISCOVERY
One day, balancing high on a ladder surrounded by drawers and boxes full of butterflies and moths, Kjell discovered the old cigar box. And there it was: the sparkling letter “F” woven into the tapestry of the wing. “We looked at this miniature design under the microscope,” Barbara recalled, “and marveled at the beauty of this letter. It reminded us of how ancient scribes lovingly embellished colorful letters in Bibles and illuminated manuscripts with human and animal forms.” Not even a calligrapher could have improved on the beauty of nature’s own “F,” Barbara wondered, “If Nature can create one such perfect letter, there must be others flying around out there. Let’s go out and find more.”

The day they found the letter was the day their lives were changed. Optimists, they decided to travel worldwide to find all the letters from the wings of butterflies and moths. "

To read more please go to The Story of the Butterfly Alphabet   

 

Heaven or Hell: Your Choice

A big, burly samurai comes to a Zen master and says, “Tell me the nature of heaven and hell.”

The Zen master looks him in the face and says, “Why should I tell a scruffy, disgusting, miserable slob like you? A worm like you, do you think I should tell you anything?”

Consumed by rage, the samurai draws his sword and raises it to cut off the master’s head.

The Zen master says, “That’s hell.”

Instantly, the samurai understands that he has created his own hell—black and hot, filled with hatred, self-protection, anger, and resentment. He sees that he was so deep in hell that he was ready to kill someone. Tears fill his eyes as he puts his palms together to bow in gratitude for this insight.

The Zen master says, “That’s heaven.”

Pema Chodron Comfortable with Uncertainty: 108 Teachings (Shambhala Publications, 2002)

Kindness, Care and Empathy

I was recently listening to Barry Schwartz, on TED talks and he was speaking of "Kindness, Care and Empathy," and their role in improving quality of patient care. Having experienced all three myself I can agree heartily with this research but I particularly loved the part of his talk on "A wise person knows..."

A wise person knows when and how to make the exception to every rule.
A wise person knows how to improvise: the real world problems are often ambiguous and ill defined and the context is always changing.
A wise person is like a jazz musician-using notes on the page but dancing around them, inventing combinations appropriate to the situation and the people at hand.

A wise person knows how to use these moral skills in the service of the right aims to serve other people, not to manipulate them.
A wise person is made not born-wisdom depends on experience: this experience comes from having time to get to know the people we serve; permission to improvise, to try new things, to fail and to learn from out failures; and mentoring by a wise teacher. It takes lots of experience to learn how to care.

Aristotle writes that practical wisdom is a combination of moral will and moral skill.

It seems to me that a wise person knows what to do in any situation. I so like Barry Schwartz, author of the Paradox of Choice. He is always good to listen to and to read.

This photo is my 2nd amarylis that I planted back at the end of November and it is now in bloom with the most gorgeous coral blossoms that I have ever seen. Honestly, I am surprised and thrilled. This one bloomed yesterday for the first time and stand's over three feet tall.  Warm wishes to all, Trudy

Paradox

Parker Palmer, author of The Courage To Teach and A Hidden Wholeness, amongst other great books, is one of my favourite mentors. I am grateful for his wisdom, humanity and honesty and I experience relief when I read his words as though I am in the presence of someone who can articulate what I myself know but can barely express.

Coincidentally, Parker Palmer and I share a love and regard for another fine mind and heart, Thomas Merton. In fact the title of Parker's book A Hidden Wholeness, was taken from Merton. Imagine my delight to recently read a passage written by Merton and quoted in Parker Palmer's book The Promise of Paradox, which was recently republished by Jossey Bass, 35 years after its first printing. In fact this was Parker's very first book and was what launched his career as author, teacher, and activist. He has since been honoured with ten honourary doctorates plus numerous national awards and named one of the "most influential senior leaders " in higher education.

Once again, I am surprised and comforted by the following passage: a gift from Merton, via Parker Palmer to me, or so it seems. Merton writes in the preface to a collection of his essays:

I have had to accept the fact that my life is almost totally paradoxical. I have also had to learn gradually to get along without apologizing for the fact, even to myself. And perhaps this preface is an indication that I have not yet completely learned. No matter. It is in the paradox itself, which was and is still a source of insecurity, that I have come to find the greatest security. I have become convinced that the very contradictions in my life are in some ways sign's of God's (reality/life's) mercy to me, if only because someone so complicated and so prone to confusion and self defeat could hardly survive for long without special mercy.

As Parker says, I too find these words a blessing for someone whose life is often pulled between the poles.

With love, Trudy